Lost Words

The minutes of time got lost the pages of the…

I don’t remember what pages

The minutes I could have spent…

Doing…

Anything?

The minutes got lost the ticking of the clock

The ticking that never starts

Never stops

Until every minute is the same as the previous minute

And the next minute

The minutes got lost in the words I didn’t have the time to say

How ironic

There were so many minutes…

All blended into one continuous minute

None of them for you

Instinctively

Instinctively

As my eyes wonder on the horizon before settling on your face

I can see a whirlwind of colors

most of which have their own names but I can only identify as the basic six colors

My face turning one of these colors: red

Probably got a fancier title: scarlet? crimson?

Like I always say “I don’t know”

And most days I don’t care

But you appear out of nowhere. Literally nowhere.

Or rather so suddenly you threw my instincts out of array and now I don’t know what’s what

What I see

What I hear

Or

What I feel

Instinctively it’s the fight or flight response: there’s nothing to fight

So I flight

But my eyes don’t follow my body that’s already turning away

Because the explosion of colour is too great a masterpiece

Instinctively

I know I shouldn't be doing this

I know that

And most of the time I don’t care

But this time I do.

Because you broke the instincts that scream the cacophony of obscenities at your approach

Instinctively

As my eyes wonder on the horizon before settling on your face

I can see a whirlwind of colors

most of which signal a horribly tense situation I should have, in my better interests, avoided

My face probably shows it: fear

Probably has a real deep meaning: admiration? attraction?

Like I said “I don’t know”

And most of the days I don’t care

But this is you

And I care

I just don’t know.

Jealousy

I’m going insane.

All I see through the mirror in a stain of blood so red that my words do not even begin to penetrate

Corruption isn't a sin

The sin is in the spreading of the mistaken

The infinite scars and lashes burn through my mind as I doubt myself over and over

I hear the screaming emitting out of my own course throat

It’s a disease; A plague that spreads without the discrimination of gender, race, age, or class

I’m going insane.

The same beat pounding on the tender black skull that rests upon my shoulder

Where neither left nor right offers any relief to the truth

The darkness residing on the other side in the a simple reflection

The light cannot lie

Only my eyes can create the illusion and blur a fantasy the ceases to exist

In the presence of fame, fortune and FAILURE

Success judges, too

And my eyes see

Soon the noticeable hatred spills onto the once white and crystal clear glass

The mirror does not distort my image

I simply preserve my thoughts it as cruel

Uncontrollably hurting the innocent without the slightest hesitation

The ride spins me till I sick to the bone

But just like an addiction, I always come back for the rush of adrenaline

I’m going insane

The image on the other side of my out-stretched fingertips has me crying in fear and misunderstanding

The hollow soul that haunts my relentless nightmares

Till I BREAKDOWN

From the lack of sleep

Not guilt.

The absence of disgrace shatters my perfect perception of humanity

I’m seriously going crazy at the thought of how naive my actions were

The reflection shining cannot keep the smirk flashing onto my face contained

I’m going insane.