Replay

I trudged onwards knowing there was no exit. Onwards down the metallic hallway without the closest door squeaking even a little in my tired presence. But what was the use? Without a way to escape my hell, the best I could do in this situation was the prolonging of the pain given to my already scarred and blood-deprived body. Even though every step was an effort almost too great for me to withstand, I managed to muster up the will to go on; the thought of seeing my brother kept me going.

As I tried to push open another doors I knew was locked, somewhere in the desperation of my mind, I prayed for a miracle. Any divinity that could get me away from this hallway, I would be willing to worship for the rest of my existence. Still, dreams cease to be reality.

HIS steps behind me were silent and the only indication of his presence was the aura I was now slowly getting used to. The only feature I remember about the man was his scarlet, red eyes. Before, fear would strike my entire body, but I felt almost nothing as his gloved hands came up behind my delicate skull and wiped the blood around my neck, almost gently.

“I’ll be alright,” he purred.

While my breathing was ecstatic, my heart beat was still strong. The thought of living to see my brother scrambled inside my mind as the only coherent thing that existed.

Growing up with someone was the single most annoying thing in the world. When every word my brother spoke was as predictable as my failing grade, I came to know him better than I should have. I’d seen him laugh till he cried, and smile till all the emotions he would bury in silence flooded out in the form of silent tears. Yet, I’ve never heard him scream. Not like the blood rupturing sound that assaulted my ears. It wasn’t a sound of pain or frustration. It was a sign of absolute lost hope. Feeling as if my own world had been tortured by merciless devils, the air suddenly became too dusty and the endless hallway seemed too constrictive. My breathing went out of control.

However, it wasn’t until I saw the crimson splatter onto the maroon carpet, did I realise the knife He was holding had plunged into my arm.  Still, the pain never hit me. The tear did first. Along with the salty tears that came in the same volume as the never-ending ocean water, the thought of dying along with my brother struck me.

I vaguely remember my capturer whispering something incoherent into my ear, as I fell onto the floor staining it a new shade of crimson red.

***

I woke up surrounded by a nurse working roughly over me in a room with lights too bright for my newly opened eyes.

“You’ve just been in a car accident. It appears as if you’ve had an allergic reaction to the medication the doctor prescribed and you’ve been hallucinating. ”

Her words didn’t register in my mind.

***

The downward spiral continued until I heard him say, “It’ll be alright.”

I was laying in His arms now, head completely unsupported. My eyes flipped to the back of my head as the sight of the carpet welcomed me to a new kind of terror; a different scene of fright His scarlet red eyes didn’t show. The carpet may be the key to silence in his hallway and maze and the carpet didn’t extend to the room with the light coming underneath the door.

But I was now close enough to the dried fluffy surface that I could see the maroon wasn’t an even shade. The once white carpet was stained with the colour of dried blood.

***

“Don’t worry. The drug should wear off soon. Your brother’s in the waiting room. Would you like me to call him here? Blink once for yes, or twice for no.”

I summoned the strength I didn’t know I had and blinked my eyes. As she left my annoyingly beeping monitored-room, I breathed a sigh of relief; the first in a long time. My brother was okay and I, to some degree, would be okay, too.

My bother entered my hospital room with gleaming eyes. It was so hard to look away, so mesmerizing that I almost didn’t notice the man with the white coat walking in. Immediately, my brother’s blissful laughter over my recovery was tuned out by the motion of His hands hovering over the two of us.

That man...

With the scarlet red eyes...

http://omegle.com/

It's strange. I had this three hour conversation with a random person and the feeling of connecting with someone is actually very bonding. We talk and we lie, but at the end of it, it took my mind off the things that was upsetting me and it was carefree. Everything was relaxing because I didn't have to think about the stressful things in my life and I could forget about the little issues that were bothering me. It's not that big of a deal, but I felt like a needed a place to vent out my anger on.

Spirit of Giving

I met my angel at a New Years Party. It was a season of closing old doors and opening new ones. A new year was a time of endings and new beginnings. In the harsh, cold winter of Canada, I saw a haven of warmth in her pool of creamy brown eyes. It was a mash of feelings, somewhat along the lines of perfection and destruction. She was a blend of innocence and hatred. I felt myself walking towards her without the slightest hesitation, as I studied her eyes in the distance. The blunt pain seen in her eyes was beyond beautiful. I wanted to know the fallen angel for myself.

***

Mary had been blind seen a car accident on the edge of the highway. The car simply lost control and found itself being smashed to pieces by the oncoming truck. The impact of the crash, the sound of the shatter windows and the taste of blood from her raw bitten lips, she would never forget. It was the same accident that took the lives of her parents before she could remember what the light of the world looked like. She was too young to remember what kind of grief she was plagued by after the loss of her family and the guilt ate her alive. Mary longed to see the world again. Even if it was just a second, Mary needed to see the faces of her parents one more time. One more second of light. There was nothing she wasn't ready to give in order to peek at the photo of her once complete family.

Still, she was poor.

***

I thought I'd give myself a chance and I decided to approach her with a smile. My charm turned onto the maximum capacity and quickly overflowing, as I walked towards her. As my feet closed the distance between her and myself, my heart was flattering quicker and my cheeks were glower redder. I felt in love at first site in the season was giving.

As I made the effort to talk comfortably with her, the thought that ran through my mind was:
I have nothing to lose. 

***

As Christmas rolled around again, I was ready to give Mary the best Christmas present anyone had ever received. She would get the cornea transplant she was waiting for. She would get the miracle she had been praying for. My fallen angel would fly again.

I was right. Never had I seen such an ecstatic expression explode onto her face. As Mary jumped into my arms, I tighten my grip around her, as if to say I would never let go. Somewhere in my human heart, I didn't want her to be able to experience the light of the world. There was so much hatred, so much discrimination, so much jealous that her blindness gave her ignorance to.

As I collapsed onto the bed, I reached for the drawer and managed to put my latest health check up paper along with the rest of them; but the small motion took too much strength as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

***

I drove to the hospital that night. After carefully parking in the garage, I trudged my way in to cardiac client as I had done so many times before. It was routine. Yet, this time, my world was filled with an excepted kind of regret. Soon, my tears wouldn't stop.

As my doctor approached me, the donor card in hand, I wiped my liquid weakness away to evaporate into the abyss. There was a certain lady who had stolen my love. There was a certain divinity that needed wings to fly and I had the perfect, matching pair.

By New Year's Day, Mary would have her new beginning and I would have my closing. I would be able to rest in peace.

Like Any Other Day

I feel a little down today. I guess, for me, that means I'm just sick or ugly. Not both. If I was sick and ugly, I would be in bed enjoying the silence.

But right now, the silence is just cutting through my head the same way a hammer pounds into it after a night at the bar. I want the world to go away. But there's no where for them to go. I'm the one that's messed up.

It's Too Loud

There’s a blunt and violent idea streaming through the depths of my mind. The same way the water will not stop flowing no matter how calm the river, I cannot shake the thoughts that haunt my soul and shatters what little sanity I have left. I cannot tell where the intention began – exactly which part of my life went wrong. All I hear is a voice becoming unbearably loud. A whisper has become undeniably prominent. The control that locked a beast is loosening from the echoes of the sounds. I want to escape the resonance. Yet, there is no corner in this chamber for my sanity to hide.
***
“Killing spree in the downtown core”
***
There’s a bunch of men outside the glass door screaming something I cannot comprehend. When the movement strikes my eyes, there a compulsive need to pull the trigger that I do not have the power to ignore. I have already given into the temptation. So I shot into the direction of all the noise hoping to calm the people yelling at me in a disturbing tone of voice.
Eventually, everyone is silent again or perhaps I have lost my sense of hearing. I can see myself lying in a pool of scarlet red, but my eyes close before I can confirm anything. At least the beast is satisfied. It will be asleep for a while.
***
“Massacre ends in hospitalization of twenty-five victims. Killer is in hospitals with life threatening conditions.”

Past Words

Ghosts of past memories
Haunt my thoughts of day
Leave me restless at night
With delusions of words I could speak to make you stay

The rewind button is constantly
Being pressed in my head
Leave me broken with my choices
The wishes alternative paths I should have walked and words I left unsaid

Dimming by every passing second
My once powerful ray of light
Is now searching in a lifeless cave
For any glimmer of hope to break up the darkness that clouded my sight

Misleading, confusing, baffled and lost
Thoughts of you hurt my disarrayed heart
Until the need to run becomes overwhelming
Trapped in my own soul replaying the times before our romance of glass shattered apart

Lost

Feeling lost today. Without a sense of direction, i seem to be wondering through the ever so slow moving hands of time. The grasp that seems to suffocate me. The fingers that know no mercy. The inescapable force of time.